|
 If you hated travelling, you might think the last thing you’d end up doing is searching for a lost mountain in Ethiopia. But that’s just what happened to journalist Bill Lumley, who recounts his adventures in The Reluctant Traveller, out tomorrow (Wed 31 March). Here, Bill gives us 10 reasons his experience left him even more convinced it’s ridiculous to leave your armchair…
1. The further away from home you travel, the bigger the wasps.
2. Walking unnecessarily long distances (see hiking) causes blisters, which may impede or even prevent your ability to return home.
3. You may end up (as I did) in the company of enthusiasts who essentially kidnap you and take you into a situation where death is a near certainty, where you are on unmapped territory and where the locals are impatient, hungry and armed. And you are the only one not enjoying yourself.
4. It may be miles to the nearest tube station.
 5. Travelling in the heat can cause your travel card, credit card and all other kinds of such digital memory units to lose the data demonstrating who you are and how much you have in your account, thus damaging your prospects of an eventual safe return home.
6. A sufficient number of cans of all-day-breakfast-in-a-can are heavy to carry on long distances of over 200 yards.
7. It is never immediately obvious whether that dog that is following you is rabid.
8. If you end up sitting on the wrong seat on a train in some countries (like Germany) they will put you in jail and throw away the key. Apparently.
9. Just about wherever you go, from the Brecon Beacons to the Horn of Africa, Sod’s law has it that a total lack of any signal means your mobile phone might just as well take an unmanned flight into the Blue Nile.
10. You might, God forbid, lose your passport.
The Reluctant Traveller is available from Prospera Publishing. Can you think of any more reasons to add to the list? Or do you think Bill’s a miserable old wotsit? Tell us below…
The pictures of Bill are by Gar Powell-Evans, www.garpowellevans.co.uk.
 |
